Mostly lucky but somewhat wise/savvy:

#11 Seahawks: the land of Oz runs through Emerald City

I have several friends and family members who live in Seattle, and it’s been very nice living vicariously through them for the Legion of Boom era. That was a lot of fun; I got to bask in their glow and go back into hiding in the long shadow they cast. Pete Carroll chewing gum on the sidelines, Marshawn Lynch going beast mode, Max Unger, Richard Sherman’s pop-offs, Earl Thomas, Kam Chancellor, that team was legit and there were many lovable characters. I thoroughly enjoyed that they won back-to-back Super Bowls and nobody should look that up let’s just move on don’t Google it trust me.

The ‘hawks were owned by Paul Allen, one of the smartest men to ever live. He co-founded Microsoft, took his money, went away, and was never heard from again until he won the title and then died graciously. That’s how you do it! That is what every billionaire should do, other than give away all of their money as quickly as they can. The Seahawks have long been excellent at evaluating talent, drafting, and having an actual identity that they stick to. I for one love the physical defense they play in the secondary, the commitment to running the ball, and the decision to rush it at the goal line against New England, can’t believe Lynch scored and they won that game please don’t look it up lets just move on.

They got the bad end of the Jamal Adams trade (the Jets came out of that one on the better end???) but gained one trillion IQ points for acknowledging Russell Wilson was past his prime, total dead weight not worth the headache, and shipped his ass off to Denver for the motherload. The team got Drew Lock, Noah Fant, Shelby Harris, two 1sts, two 2nds, and a 5th. How they were able to rob the Broncos like that should be a crime, I’m calling the IRS, that’s just too much of a haul for one tiny man who definitely didn’t throw a Super Bowl-losing interception in his life, what are you talking about no he didn’t okay moving on now.

In your post-trade glory, you revived former Jets bust Geno Smith’s career and made the following picks: Tyler Lockett in the 3rd, Shaq Griffin in the 3rd, Rashaad Penny in the 1st, Will Dissly in the 4th, Tre Flowers in the 5th, DK Metcalf in the 2nd, DeeJay Dallas in the 4th, Kenneth Walker in the 2nd, Devon Witherspoon in the 1st, Jaxon Smith-Njigba in the 1st, Zach Charbonnet in the 2nd and Coby Bryant (nice try bud, you’re no Kobe).

Not too shabby! Not amazing, but Metcalf is a tremendous human being (who is possibly an alien, the man is yolked like a Greek god, jacked up), and overall your team is pretty smart without being smug about it. Okay maybe a little smug, but you got rid of Pete and his gum. I’m pretty sure he was chewing the same piece all of these years, but I can’t be sure of that. Was sacking Carroll a brilliant idea? Time will tell, but the only thing left to do now is find a successor for Geno and you could be a playoff threat for a long while.

A note on Geno, while I’m here: I don’t think there’s ever been a clear-cut example in modern sports that shows why so many talented players fail to make it big. They get drafted by stupid teams (ranked below) and horrible situations/fits, and they just cannot lift bad talent that surrounds them out of the depths. You go to the Jets? You’re screwed. You go to Seattle? You prosper. That’s the difference between smart and dumb NFL teams, probably dozens or hundreds of athletes who would have been saved by not going to the Jaguars or Panthers or Bengals or any other stupid team named after a jungle cat with no championship rings. The Pacific Northwest is where the smartest of us go, it’s only a matter of time before the Mariners get there (how did they not win in 2001 is beyond me).

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Smartest teams with recent rings to show for it:
1 – Chiefs
2 – Rams
3 – Eagles

Mostly lucky but somewhat wise/savvy:
4 – Ravens
5 – Texans
6 – Packers
7 – Steelers
8 – Bengals
9 – Bucs
10 – Lions